Changing Perspectives for Effective Solutions

Perception is reality. That is, the way we see things constitutes our beliefs about the world around us.

It is so easy to forget that one of the most incredible choices we have is that of our perspectives, or our way of seeing, feeling about and approaching the multitude of dimensions that make up our lives.

We choose our perspectives every minute of every day… how we see, feel and think about every situation that comes our way.

Our perspectives not only affect the way we feel about our life, but more importantly, they define how we deal with and resolve any given situation, sometimes positively and sometimes not.

One of the biggest traps we fall into is believing that there is only one way of looking at something.

This one way so quickly becomes our reality that we lose the ability to see things differently, creating a “that’s just the way it is” mentality.

Well here’s another reality: It is possible to choose a new perspective for any area of your life, commit to actions that keep you in that perspective and begin to watch your life change as a result.

It is not a difficult process; you just have to follow a PICK plan and roll with it.

Perspective. First think about the situation at hand and define your perspective — how do you see it, what do you think and feel about it, and what are the impacts on you?

Give this perspective a name — the “lazy” perspective, or maybe “victim” or “control-freak.”

Inhabit. Try on other perspectives, live in them, inhabit them. Next, make up and write down some other possible perspectives, like the “empowered” perspective, or the “dedicated,” or “cowboy,” or “joyous” perspectives.

Once you have created some, spend time being in each one. Make notes about what you experience in each.

What does your situation look like from that point of view? If you really saw your situation from that perspective, what would be different?

Move to all the different perspectives you have brainstormed and play with experiencing the thoughts and feelings of each one.

Choice. Choose a new way, get clear on how to get there and create your plan. Of all the perspectives you created and played with above, decide which one gets you closest to what you want your life to look like and claim it as a new way of approaching your situation. Next, make a list of things you would have to do to make the perspective become your reality.

These might be actions you take, new thoughts you adopt or things you stop doing or thinking.

Kick it into action. So you’ve created some lists … great. If they stay just lists, they won’t do you a bit of good. Kicking it into action through commitment is the key. Choose three things from the list to commit to. Write them on a Post-it to remind yourself and stick it on your computer.

Finally, who can you ask to help you stay true to your plan? Call that person — now. Explain what you are doing, ask for support and for the person to check in with you to see how it’s going.

Our perspectives are incredibly powerful — so much so that we often claim they are reality. Remember, it’s your choice, and you can choose a new perspective that will.

Reading the Stress Barometer. Are You at Code Orange?

Code Yellow. Code Orange. Our country has been stressed by the barometer of threat. But what about you?

Every day things push us closer to the edge. How much can you take before you snap — before you go Code Red? To be successful and live to tell about it, you have to know, monitor and control your barometer of stress.

Stress occurs when “demands exceed the resources an individual perceives he or she is able to mobilize.”

During these times, your body, acting off the fight-or-flight response, releases adrenaline to help you run faster or fight harder. Your heart rate and blood pressure increase, sending more oxygen to your muscles. You focus your attention on the threat to the exclusion of anything else.

Constant stress makes it hard to listen well, focus on the important things and remember details. It starts to affect every part of your life, creating a slow leak of energy and innovation.

In many circumstances people reach Code Red, emotional explosions or implosions that end up doing much more damage than good. Code Red can be a major derailer of careers and relationships — all because individuals don’t catch themselves at the Code Orange level.

It’s different for every person, but generally, here’s how the stress barometer breaks out:

• Code Green (low stress). Sleeping well; living a healthy and balanced lifestyle; a clear focus. Life is good.
• Code Blue (general stress). Low energy, disorganized, losing focus, scattered.
• Code Yellow (elevated and significant stress). Pessimism, tired, loss of focus, sweating the small stuff, anxiety.
• Code Orange (high risk). Irritable, tunnel vision, tightness in the body, no clarity on priorities, negativity, exhausted, constant anxiety.
• Code Red (severe risk). Burnout, blowups, lethargy, depression, inability to make a decision, lashing out, irrational.

How do you recognize and manage this stress cycle before it’s too late?

1. Identify your Code Green and determine the indicators of your other levels.

2. Identify the things that trigger stress in your life and plan accordingly; for example, if certain clients are a trigger, be sure you schedule time to de-stress on days you know you’ll meet with them.

3. Develop a technique to check your stress levels throughout the day. One possibility: Every time you refill your water bottle, ask yourself how you currently compare to Code Green and what you can do to move closer to it.

4. Use a mind, body or spirit tool to counter the stress. No tool is “one size fits all”, so choose one below, and experiment to see how it affects your stress levels:

• Mind: Develop a portfolio of activities and interests. Clear your mind with new ideas, hobbies and music. Find someone at work to confide in. Keep a journal and write about what’s stressing you.
• Body: Work the adrenaline out of your system. Take a walk around the block or go to the gym. Drink eight glasses of water a day. Sit and focus on your breathing. Lower your intake of processed foods and sugar.
• Spirit: Calm your mind with meditation or quiet time. Practice faith. Be in nature. Keep a picture or object on your desk that brings you “back to center.” Hang out with friends. Accept life as it is (not as you want it to be). Do a “random act of kindness” for a stranger.

Stress cannot be avoided. However, it is possible to be aware of your stress levels, choose differently and make changes in your life that lead you back to Code Green. Because let’s face it — life’s too short for Code Orange.

Form a Pit Crew to Save You from Overheating

Sound familiar? It’s easy to try to do everything yourself. The consequences? No sounding board to help you brainstorm and expand your ideas. No one to encourage you or hold you accountable as you chase our goals.

Why use one mind, when two can do the job three times faster? Why go it alone, when you can have support along the way?

To achieve your goals, it’s important to have an individual or team that can push you, in more ways than one, to be all you can be.

Find some people, aside from your current circle of friends and family, who will form one of the following relationships with you. You won’t believe the impact it will have on the lives of everyone involved.

1. Accountability partner. Find someone who holds you accountable for keeping your commitments, challenges you when you are shooting too low and supports you when you are ready to throw in the towel. Do the same for that person. Meet regularly and check in by phone for deadlines.

2. Mentor. Find someone that you respect in your industry and invite them for lunch. Tell them what you’re seeking in a mentor (meetings once a month, on the phone, in person, etc). Most people are flattered and willing to spend one to two hours a month guiding someone else in their industry.

3. Coach. Professional coaches provide an ongoing partnership designed to help clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Coaching is a personal choice, so book free sample sessions with three to four coaches before choosing one.

4. Advisory board. Create a small advisory board of five to eight people. Diversify the group as much as possible so you have all the necessary entities covered (legal, financial, industry expert, etc). It’s best to meet every quarter and be able to contact them in between meetings if necessary.

5. Networking groups. Small, professional networking or lead-share groups of like-minded people are a great way to brainstorm ideas. Meeting once a month, with calls and e-mails in between, works effectively and efficiently. Attend at least three meetings to determine if a particular group is the best fit for you. If you don’t find a group that fits you, then create your own.

6. Mastermind group. These groups of individuals meet regularly to share thoughts, opinions and information. Some are industry specific, while others invite colleagues from different industries to discuss ideas on a variety of topics. Some groups address only professional topics; others include personal issues. Ensure that your values and goals match those of the group before you join.

No matter what format you use, create a successful team by including these three ingredients: trust, clear communication and accountability.

When you have chosen a team to support you, and have trust, clear communication and accountability within your team, you’ll find that you can reach your goals much faster.

Laser Focus for Maximum Productivity

I’ve always had a a hard time focusing on just one thing, especially since I had my 3-year old daughter. In fact, my business partner now accuses me of having the attention span of a toddler. One of my clients has a similar challenge. She calls it being distracted by “shiny things”. I can relate. Shiny things are fun and exciting. They can open up new doors of possibilities. For someone like me, “shiny things” smack of entrepreneurialism. Much more fun than the mundane job of daily operations.

Or so I thought, until my coach introduced me to “laser focus”. When I’d complain that it was boring to focus on just 1-2 projects in a day, he’d remind me that focus doesn’t mean hard work, 24/7. In fact, it’s just the opposite. It’s putting an intense laser on a project for a short period of time. During that time, I focus on what’s going to be the most effective use of my time to make the biggest impact on that project. So instead of looking at the “shiny things” of possibilities for that project, I laser in on what’s actually going to work that day. Then I walk away…no need to keep working on that project as I did the most effective thing for the day. That then allows me to laser focus on another project. So in a day, I may do 3-4 hours of laser focus on a number of projects, allowing me to move forward on many projects without getting stuck in the day-to-day routine of each project.

The impact? More fun. More free time. More energy. More projects that actually work, rather than projects that “may” work. Fewer “shiny things”, but that’s OK. I’d rather have a successful project than a “shiny” project that never worked. How about you? Give it a try and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised!

What is This Thing Called Coaching?

What is this thing called coaching?” I must get asked that question 10 times a day. I admit that coaching is a very vague term. When I say that I’m a certified coach, people ask if I coach sports teams. When I say that I actually coach business teams, people look surprised. ‘Why would a business team need coaching’, they ask? Because business teams are just like sports teams:

• They are made up of different people who try to reach a team goal together.
• Each person on the team has individual goals, as well as the team goal, in mind.
• Each person on the team has his/her own communication style, which may or may not work well with the others on the team.
• Although there is one official leader (the coach or captain), there are usually other team members who carry as much weight, if not more weight, than the official leader.

Just like a sports team, successful business teams have to practice, communicate clearly and delegate roles. They often need an ‘outsider’ to coach them to success, whether the whole team or just some of the team leaders. That’s what I do. I coach teams and leaders to get from Point A to Point B, in the most effective way possible. I work with individuals, companies and non-profits. During the years, many people have asked for a practical book on coaching, so they can bring coaching skills to their own teams. That’s how my book, “A Manager’s Guide to Coaching” was created, thanks to my many, many clients. Here is a great write up about one of the book topics: How to create effective coaching questions. Enjoy!

Five Tips for Effective Coaching Questions

People always ask me, “What exactly is coaching and how is it different from any other conversation?”

A coaching conversation is different from other conversations due to the amount of questions asked, and the type of questions asked.

In general, a coach should be doing 80% listening and 20% talking. If a coach is doing more talking than listening, then the coach is training or lecturing. There’s nothing wrong with training or lecturing, in certain situations. However, it’s not coaching. But if a coach is asking some powerful questions and then listening most of the time, you have a situation where the coachee is finding the solutions herself, instead of being told what to do. This frees up the coach to work on other projects and empowers the coachee to move forward on her own.

So what makes a good coaching question? Here are five tips to keep in mind:

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

1. Keep them Open
A coach wants her coachee to determine the problem and solutions by himself. Asking open questions that start with what, who and how allows this to happen; using questions that start with did, will, have and why actually shut down a conversation. Here is an example:

Coachee:
I missed my deadline again.

Typical manager reply:
Yea, I know. Why did you do that?

Better coaching question:
What got in your way?

The typical manager reply puts the coachee on the defensive, making him defend himself. The coaching question opens up the situation, without judgment or blame. It allows the coachee to focus on what got in the way, and then eventually what he wants to be different in the future and then eventually what steps he’ll take to get there.

In my next blog, I’ll go through the other four tips for good coaching questions. In the meantime, give it a try….when you’re next talking to an employee, student, child or colleague, practice asking questions that begin with what, who or how and see what happens. You’ll be surprised to see how the conversation opens up!

Five Tips for Effective Coaching Questions, Part 2

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #1 for asking a good coaching question. Let’s look at Tip #2 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

2. Keep them Short and Stupid
A new manager may want to impress an employee with a long-winded, well-crafted question. However, short questions (no more than 10 words) keep the conversation flowing and make a better impact on the coachee.

In addition, questions that may seem “stupid”are often the best because it shows that you, as the coach, don’t have all the answers and trust that the coachee does. Since a manager’s job is not to fix the problem, but to empower her employee to fix the problem, “stupid” questions allow the coach to ask questions that may prompt some new thinking about the problem.

Coachee:
We missed our sales target again and my team is feeling discouraged.

Typical manager reply:
Yes, I’ve been thinking about that for awhile. I also did some reading in some of my college books and think that the problem may be related to the model on page 37 of this book. What do you think?

Better coaching question:
What’s the impact on you?
(This may seem stupid as the coachee already said that the team is feeling discouraged, but the team may also be feeling resentful, angry, ready to quit and other things that need to be considered.)

The typical manager reply sounds like the manager isn’t truly listening to the coachee and has already solved the problem in his head. The coachee then feels that she has to use the manager’s idea. So instead of empowering the coachee, the manager has just taken the problem on himself, instead of allowing the coachee to figure it out for herself. Consequently, the coachee will expect the manager to fix her problems in the future, which results in the manager often working on employee minutia instead of executing the organization strategy and vision. That’s a lose-lose-lose for the coachee, coach and organization!

In my next blog, I’ll go through the other three tips for good coaching questions. In the meantime, give it a try….when you’re next talking to an employee or colleague, practice asking short and stupid questions and see what happens. You’ll be surprised to see how the conversation opens up!

Five Tips for Effective Coaching Questions, Part 3

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #2 for asking a good coaching question. Let’s look at Tip #3 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

3. Keep them Advice Free
Managers got where they are because they’re good at fixing things, handling crisis’ and thinking on their feet. So when an employee approaches a manager with a problem, it’s second nature for a manager to give advice on how to fix the problem.

However, if a manager keeps fixing everything for her employees, she’ll never have time to do her own work, which is executing the company vision. In addition the employee won’t feel valued, and will always go to the manager for a solution instead of creating her own solution.

As a coach, a manager should avoid telling an employee how to solve a problem. She wants to empower her employees to find their own solutions, which may be even better than the manager’s solution. So it’s important to ask questions that are not disguised as advice. Common pitfalls include questions such as: “Have you tried X?” or “Why don’t you think about doing it this way?” or “What if you did Y?”

Here’s an example:

Coachee:
We missed our sales target again and my team is feeling discouraged.

Typical manager reply:
Why don’t you try some team-building to lift morale? After that, maybe you could contact HR for some sales training? I bet that would work.

Better coaching question:
What’s the biggest challenge your team is facing?
(Follow-up question) How would you overcome that challenge?

In my next blog, I’ll discuss Tip #4. Until then…watch out for those questions that are disguised as advice!

Five Tips for Effective Coaching Questions, Part 4

In my last blog, I talked about Tip #3 for asking a good coaching question. Let’s look at Tip #4 today.

Five Tips for Good Coaching Questions

1. Keep them Open
2. Keep them Short and Stupid
3. Keep them Advice-Free
4. Keep them Forward-Focused
5. Keep them Thought Provoking

4. Keep them Forward Focused
As a manager, it’s easy to stay in the past and constantly fight fires. It’s hard to lift your head from your daily tasks and actually get a sense of where your ship is heading. I get it. At one point in my career, I managed 2 hotels and a safari camp in Africa, with a total of 400+ staff and 400+ guests. I know what it’s like to barely manage my workload, let alone plan for the future.

Yet, it’s a manager’s job to get out of the weeds, stay forward focused and coach your employees to do the same. Otherwise, you and your team will barely move forward; you’ll just stay in the same place, treading water.

So how do you do this? When an employee comes to your with a problem, take a step back and try to see how this problem could impact the department’s strategic vision. Think about how the solution to the problem will impact the team, and organization, in a year. This will give you and your employee a very different perspective.

Here’s an example:

Coachee:
I can’t work with Sue anymore. She cut me off again in today’s meeting. I want you to talk to her about it.

Typical manager reply:
She did? What did she say? Then what did you say? Then what was her reply? Let me have a word with her…. (This line of questions keeps the coachee in the past, and dis-empowers her from finding her own solution.)

Better coaching question:
Coach: I can see that you’re angry about this. What upsets you the most?

Coachee: The fact that she doesn’t respect my ideas.

Coach: I get it. What’s your contribution to the problem?

Coachee: Me? I dunno….maybe I don’t stand up for myself when she cuts me off.

Coach: And how does that impact the organization?

Coachee: My ideas don’t contribute to the bottom line.

Coach: That’s a big loss. What would happen if you stood up for yourself?

Coachee: I’d be more excited about working here. I’d speak up more. And listen more, because I wouldn’t be fuming in meetings. I’d collaborate better with others because I felt heard.

Coach: So how do you want to handle this in the future?

Coachee: I’ll remind Sue that I wasn’t finished with my thoughts and then finish them. Then I’ll listen to what she and others have to say about my idea.

Coach: Great! I know this will be hard at first…I also know that you can do it. Keep me posted on your progress.

In my next blog, I’ll discuss Tip #5. Until then…stay forward focused!

How to Effectively Motivate Employees

In 1968, the Harvard Business Review (HBR) published Frederick Herzberg’s article, “One more time: how do you motivate employees?”. This is still one of the most widely read HBR articles ever. The most important paragraph in the article says: “If I kick my dog (from the front or the back), he will move. And when I want him to move again, what must I do? I must kick him again. Similarly, I can charge a person’s battery, and then re-charge it, and re-charge it again. But it is only when one has a generator of one’s own that we can talk about motivation. One then needs no outside stimulation. One wants to do it.”

How many times do we “re-charge” an employee’s battery, thinking it will bring better results? I did it all the time as a new manager. I wanted my employees to be motivated at work, so I became the department’s #1 cheerleader. I brought in cookies, games, and rewards. I didn’t notice a difference, so I then brought in even more treats, upping the ante. It still didn’t work. The result? I spent hours trying to re-charge their battery, while draining my own.

It was only when I understood the concept of coaching, and motivating an employee from within, that I noticed a change in my team’s productivity. It was only when I truly listened to them, and asked them for their ideas and input, that things started to shift as a team. It was only when I stood back and let them create their own solutions that I saw the department’s energy level and motivation increase.

It wasn’t the cookies, games or prizes that created the change. It was helping employees find their own generator, though coaching, that created the strong motivational team that won many, many awards.